what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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