I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
