There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
