I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize