you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
