Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
