Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Your dad touched me again.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
that may or may not have been my penis.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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