you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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