Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
