I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
