Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
