How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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