my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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