fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize