just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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