the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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