garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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