i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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