for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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