God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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