Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
