Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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