I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
