I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
