umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
