I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do vagina's smell?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize