I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
