His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
