I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
