He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize