I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize