Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
