You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
