Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
