i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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