I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
