So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
