if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
