you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
