im drinking this country out of the recession.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
