fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
