i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
