i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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