she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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