I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
