I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
