I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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