when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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