i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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