Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
