Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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