just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Swine flu is the new snow day.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
