those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
