it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I smell stomach acid.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
