the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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