ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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