I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
