there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
