My room smells like vodka and shame
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
