I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
