There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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