you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His hands were made for my vagina.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
She told me I should be a condom model.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
