How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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