Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Randomize
